


Better Late Than Never

by dean_casxx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Top Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8456152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dean_casxx/pseuds/dean_casxx
Summary: Cas is left to his own defenses when Dean kicks him out of the bunker while Ezekiel enters Sam to heal him. Needless to say he is horrible at being human and is in need of assistance.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own supernatural, if I did, Destiel would have been canon long ago:)
> 
> Mid season 9

Castiel works night shifts at a small roadside gas station called Side Stop. It is located somewhere in northern Indiana where there aren't any cities for at least 20 miles in each direction. He lives in a junky motel, barely getting by on the minimum wage he is paid. His shift starts at 9pm and he gets off at 6am. Ever since Dean told him to leave because of Ezekiel, he has tried to get by the best he can and keep himself together while not get caught up in what the angels are doing. It has been 6 weeks since he has last spoken to Dean on the phone and he was cut short by the minutes on the pay phone. He feels utterly and completely alone.

A customer slams down some Lays and and a bottled water on the counter. It is around 10:30pm.

“That will be $4.34,” Cas tells the tall man with large glasses. The man holds out what looks like pocket change for Cas to count. After a while of sorting through sweaty old coins he gives the man the receipt.

“Thanks for stopping by,” Cas murmurs as the man leaves without a word. Cas has still not gotten used to the fact that not all humans are as kind and polite as the angels he once knew.

After a few minutes or maybe hours of Cas looking at the dusty TV in the corner for any news, a sweet looking teenage girl walks in. She goes straight to the pop aisle and gets a few root beers. She has a bright smile and is wearing a plaid shirt with skinny jeans. Her hair is short, blond, and messy in a perfect way.

Cas would have found a girl like her attractive before he left Dean but ever since he did, he can't get Dean out of his head. Whenever he closes his eyes, he sees Dean smiling at him or making some reference he doesn’t understand.

“Hi,” the girl says softly, putting down the root beers.

“Hello.”

“Hold on, let me go grab something else,” the girl speaks suddenly, just as Cas is about the print the receipt.

Cas watches her expectantly as she goes to the snacks aisle and brings back some pretzels and about 5 cans of Pringles.

“Couldn't forget these!” she tells Cas, a slight smile on her lips as she speaks and lets out a small nervous laugh. “You look exhausted...” she reads the label on his red vest, “Jeremy.”

“Yes, I am, night shifts really tire me out.” Cas looks down at the ground and squints like he does when he thinks.

“Well I don't know how you do it... sleeping through the day.”

“I've gotten kinda used to it.” Cas shuffles his feet. He hands her the receipt. “Have a good night.”

“You too, Jeremy,” the young girl smiles and leaves the store. Cas hasn't seen anyone as bright as her in many weeks. Most who enter the store are grumpy and irritated and don't say much, if anything at all.

Cas organizes some of the magazines on the rack in front of the counter and then watches the news again. The night goes on with a few customers who come in that are drunk, angry, or just plain out of it. Just another day on the job.

At 6:15 in the morning, Cas arrives back at his motel. He rides a bike he found on the side of the road to and from work. He goes straight into the bathroom and washes his face. He looks in the mirror and sees a ragged version of himself. He hasn't shaved in days and his eyes have purple stains underneath them that won't go away. Even though he sleeps through the day, the sleep doesn't seem to do anything for his appearance. Cas sighs, takes some melatonin and goes to sleep.

***

Dean rolls his eyes at Sam across the table. They have been arguing about how to kill a demon they found a few days ago.

“I’m going to go tomorrow and take care of it, Sam”

“Not without me you aren't!”

Dean sighs. “You need to rest.”

“No I don't, Dean! Stop saying that, I'm just fine and I have been for days!”

“I can handle this on my own, it's just one nearly harmless demon,” Dean tells Sam firmly, suggesting the conversation is over.

“Fine, just call me if anything at all seems out of the...” Sam chuckles, “ordinary.”

“That's in the job description, Sam,” Dean says with a smirk on his face.

Dean has regretted kicking out Cas but believes it was necessary for Ezekiel to heal Sam. But, as he does with all the rest of his feelings, he shoves that feeling of regret down inside him. That is, after all, the only way he could stand his life of being a hunter.

“Oh and why don't you try to get a hold of Cas, he deserves to at least be checked on once and while after you told him to leave,” Sam tells Dean with a slightly pained expression.

“Okay I will see if he will answer his motel phone,” Dean reassures him as he heads out the door. Dean doesn’t call Cas because he doesn’t think he can stand to hear his rough, tired voice telling him that he is just fine. Dean knows that isn't true.

***

Cas is laying on his bed, staring with blank eyes at the ceiling. It is nearly noon and he still can’t fall asleep. He thinks of taking more pills but decides it wouldn't help him. The curtains shut out most of the light but he just doesn’t feel tired. Cas decides it must be some flaw in his mortality that keeps him awake. Somehow, at 4pm he finally lets sleep take him, only because his eyes burn and it feels better to close them. It is brief and restless but better than nothing. At 8, he gets out of bed and takes a shower. He likes showers because it feels like the water pouring down on him takes away all the pain and worry from the day before along with the stickiness that accumulates from working at a gas station.

On his bike ride to work, Cas thinks about calling Dean, even though he doesn't have his number. So mostly he just wishes Dean will call him again. Cas presumes that he won't, because he kicked him out and probably didn't care very much about him. At least, Dean might care when he thinks Cas might be useful for a case, or for some information. Cas sighs as he realized just how little Dean probably thinks of him.

Michelle, an employee with a shift right before Cas’s is just leaving when he arrives at Side Stop. “Hello Jeremy, how are you?” She asks briskly, yet politely.

“Fine thanks.”

“Are you sure? You look totally beat.” She says with a worried glance.

“I just didn't get enough sleep.”

“Oh I understand, well I will see you later! Good luck with your shift.”

Cas walks gloomily into the store.

***

_6 months later_

Dean and Sam are doing their usual hunting jobs, and Dean is trying to distract himself from thinking about Cas. Ezekiel is taking much longer than he thought to cure Sam from the inside out. Dean almost can't take it anymore, he has only called Cas twice, probably 4 months ago. Hunting is his only distraction.

“Dean, go see Cas!” Sam shouts one night after returning from hunting a vampire nest. He can't and won't understand why Dean is seemingly unable to even just check up on him. Dean could have gone and visited but now it would be awkward after so long. He has been avoiding it for so long, he now can't go. Not to mention all the hard feelings. This time they can't hug it out and say a few apologies.

“I can't Sammy, it's been too long I'm sure he's doing fine, he's a tough guy who's been through a lot.”

“I just worry he might not be doing well with the whole mortality thing.”

“He got along fine before we found him, he has a job and a place to live,” Dean convinces Sam, also trying to also convince himself.

“Look Dean, I know he is probably fine but honestly we need to check on him we would be crazy not to and if you don't go I will,” Sam states firmly.

Dean knows he is powerless in trying to convince him otherwise despite Ezekiel. “Okay I will go, Sammy.”

Sam’s facial expression changes in a split second as his eyes flash blue. “I cannot go anywhere near to Castiel,” Ezekiel says in a monotone voice.

“Ziek!” Dean says with surprise. “I will see Cas and you won't have to go, okay?”

“Thank you, Dean. I should be done healing Sam in a few weeks,” Ezekiel tells Dean.

Dean loses it. “Seriously?! It has been months, you never said it would take this long! You have certainly overstayed your welcome.”

“Yes I realize that, but I don't want to leave until I'm sure Sam will survive without me.”

“Okay Ziek.”

“I'm sorry, Dean.” And with that, he is gone.

“When?” Sam asks.

“What? Oh, um day after next. I want to make sure the vampires are gone.”

Sam squints a bit, then his expression softens. “Okay.”

Both brothers stand up from the table at the Men of Letters headquarters or what Dean likes to call “home” and went to bed. Just as Dean’s mind is drifting into sleep, he imagines Cas’s soft smile as he sees Dean.

***

“Hello, Jeremy!” Michelle calls out happily to Cas as he walks past her to the gas station. “How are- you look absolutely horrific!” she says, shocked as she turns to face him.

“I'm fine don't worry, Michelle.” Cas hurries inside. He hasn't slept at all that day and he isn't feeling good at all. His facial features have shrunken in, and his eyes seem to be a less bright shade of blue. They lack the sparkle that Dean told him about once. Not knowing much about being human, he eats less than normal, the food that he does eat is poor quality and practically junk. He seems to forget to drink sometimes, although he has gotten better at that. Cas isn't aware of lotion, brushing teeth, or any other bodily hygiene routine. He only knows how showering worked after watching some tv shows. He told Michelle a while ago that he has trouble sleeping. She showed him melatonin. He takes it every time he goes to sleep without any thought.

“Hello,” Cas says politely to a customer. “Will this be all?”

“Yes, thank you,” a girl with shoulder length black hair responds.

Cas hands her the bag and turns away to go organize the chip aisle after a customer totally trashed it a little while back.

Cas feels a little dizzy as he stoops over to pick up the chip bags. He grabs onto a shelf and held his temple with his thumb and index finger. When he stands up, a man in jeans and a leather jacket is standing in front of him looking down with concerned eyes.

“Cas...” Dean starts. Before he can finish what he had been practicing for hours in the car, Cas collapses.

“Cas?” Dean catches him before he hits the ground. Dean has a panicked expression as he frantically shakes Cas. Cas peeks open his eyes before falling still again. Deciding he is not in critical condition, Dean takes him back to the motel Cas is staying at in his Impala. He remembers the motel name from calling a few months back, looking for Cas. The room number he gets from Cas’s key in his pocket.

Arriving inside the room, Dean carefully lays Cas on one of the queen beds. He turns on the small TV on low volume and sits by Cas’s side.

A few hours later, Dean hears a whisper.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas! How are you feeling?” Dean turns off the tv and faces him.

“Better now, I think,” Cas answers, his voice returning.

Dean feels his forehead. “What happened to you, Cas?”

“I haven't been sleeping very well and I'm not sure how great my eating is...” Cas murmurs.

“More like not sleeping at all! I should have told you a few more tips on being human,” Dean says regretfully. “I’ve been such a dick to you, I regret not coming to see you sooner.”

“Dean, it isn’t your job to take care of me and teach me how to be human, it's my fault that I fell and lost my grace.”

“You didn't know, none of us did. You did what you thought was right.” Dean isn't in the mood to argue. He needs to do something to help Cas, and fast.

“I'm going to get you some decent food and something good to drink, I will be right back,” Dean tells Cas.

Cas thinks of how grateful he is that Dean has finally come. He won't admit it, but he needs him there. Except what has taken him so long? Does he really think of Cas that little?

“I got you a salad and some mineral water,” Dean announces as he closes the door. “It's just the kind of thing Sam would get.” He tosses the food at Cas who looks up at him from the bed with a small smile that is just like the one Dean imagined.

Cas eats the food with enthusiasm, the salad is quite large but takes him only 5 minutes to devour. Dean tells him to drink as much as he can. Dean is watching him from the small dining table. When Cas is finished, he looks at Dean with his ocean blue eyes that have some of their sparkle back, and thanks him.

“Like I said before, I should have come sooner, I’m not sure why I hesitated so much.”

“That's okay. I know you’re busy.”

“Not too busy to at least check up on you, Cas. It's no excuse.”

They spend the next few days together in the motel. Cas quits his job, after the insistence of Dean. They watch whatever is on the TV, including some Dr. Sexy. Cas starts to understand why it is Dean’s guilty pleasure. Dean helps him get his sleeping schedule back to regular time and buys him some decent food. Cas realizes he means more to Dean than he previously thought. Dean wouldn't treat just anyone like this.

Dean contemplates was his next move will be. Will he leave Cas again, just for a few weeks until Ezekiel leaves? Will he stay with Cas those few weeks and then go back to Sam and take Cas with him? Also, he can take Cas to Sioux Falls, South Dakota where Sheriff Mills can keep an eye on him? Dean decides it would be best if he takes him to Sioux Falls. Ezekiel will definitely not be happy if he brings Cas home with him. His next choice would have been staying with him. If he stays, Sam would definitely get suspicious and may even figure out about Ezekiel happening and Dean can not risk that.

Dean announces the next day his plan. Cas doesn't seem too upset, though he is confused about why he can't go back with him and Sam. Cas knows he shouldn't push it.

They drive and listen to Dean’s same 5 albums on repeat. Cas doesn't mind his music, in fact he is learning to like it.

“We are almost to Sioux Falls, then I will drop you off at a slightly nicer motel than the last and pick you up in a few weeks,” Dean explains to Cas, who has just woken up.

“Thanks, Dean.”

“I told Sheriff Mills to check up on you every few days okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean enjoys being like a parent to Cas. Cas doesn't seem to mind and it is beneficial to him, at least while his health is recovering.

“Here we are!” Dean tells Cas with false enthusiasm. He hands him a bag of clothes.

“What is this?”

“Some of my old clothes in case you can't get your trench coat clean soon enough. Plus, some other necessities you will thank me for later.”

Dean walks Cas to his room. He hands Cas the keys.

“Be careful okay?” Dean asks Cas.

“I will be Dean, but I don't want to be here without you, I've missed you the past few months.” Cas is surprised at his own bravery in saying that.

Dean looks into Cas’s pleading eyes and can't take it. He pushes Cas gently against the door and closes the distance between them. Cas is shocked and doesn't know what to do at first. Dean licks at Cas’s bottom lip and it comes naturally after that. Cas puts his hands on the back of Dean’s neck while Dean has his hands on Cas’s hips. Dean pushes him against the door harder as the kiss deepens. They tastefully explore each other's mouths, eliciting small groans. Cas thinks his heart was gonna burst as long kisses turn into short open-mouthed ones.

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that,” Dean says hastily and out of breath just as he comes to the realization.

“Me too.”

Dean isn't going to stop there. He takes the motel key that is now on the ground, picks it up, and quickly turns it in the lock. Cas has just the time to give Dean his most genuine smile before getting shoved inside.

 

 

 


End file.
